Ordinary People

Ordinary people 1. What is dialectic? Dialectic is like treat people with  borderline personality disorder. It explains relational life as full of pus-pull tensions resulting from the desire for polar opposites. Autonomy and Connection It desire to be independent or dependence while simultaneously wanting to feel connection with the partner EX: Beth and Calvin have the connection dialectic when they decide to go on a vacation together. Conrad has autonomy dialectic after he argued with his mom down stair and went to his room, he want to be alone.Novelty and Predictability They manifest in our simultaneous desires for excitement or stability in our relationship,—- Novelty is excitement, new. Predictability is stable, same routine. EX: in the film, Conrad has Novelty dialectic when he met his friend, Jen. The mother, Beth, has Predictability dialectic because she always keeps thinking about Buck’s dead was not happened; she always thought nothing was happened. Public an d Private It is the tension between how much of a friendship is demonstrated in public and private.EX: in the movie, when Conrad when to the restaurant with Jen, he has the public dialectic, he is openness at the beginning at the restaurant. But when Jeannie’s friends came in the restaurant, Conrad changed his dialectic into Private and does not like to talk at all. 2. System theory Wholeness: a principle that states that we can not understand a system by simply picking it apart. An undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting Interdependence: dependence  between  two  or  more  people,  groups,  or  thingsEX: Conrad’s dependence between his parents, friends. Hierarchy: the organization of people at different ranks in an administrative body * In the film, it does not show any rank in the family, every one look like in the same rank. Boundaries or Openness: a line determining the limits of an area, creating a boundary around each s eparate system. EX: in the movie, Conrad tell Dr. Berger how he feel about his family and his sadness. Calibration or feedback: the process of system setting their parameters, checking on themselves and self-correcting. Conrad quit his swimming team because he can not handle his stress while swimming. Equifinality: the ability to achieve the same goals by variety of means. 3. Mark knapp’s model of relationship. a). Conrad and Jeannie Pratts’ relationship in the Initiating Stage, they notice each other when they just meet in school. They are also in Experimenting Stage, Conrad called her and want to date her, she accepted it. This mean they understand what they want. b) Ordinary People Family cooperation is one of the most important things that keep the family running smooth and keeping the family happy. In the novel Ordinary People written by Judith Guest, she showed that a family cannot function properly without communications and caring of each other. Lack of these things would usually results in family separation. In the novel’s case, it didn’t turn out to be a disaster but it turn out to be another happy thing for this family. At some point of the novel, the relationship between Beth and Calvin began to fall apart because of their different personalities. This situation happen after Conrad committed suicide. This problem seems to hinder Beth because she doesn’t want to be reminded of the incident and Calvin always wants to talk about this problem. Whenever Calvin asks Beth to talk about their problems, Beth always asks Calvin to forget about it. Beth is a person who always wants things turn out the way she wanted and if things doesn’t turn out the way she wanted she will get mad. On the other hand, Calvin is a person that tries to do his best for his kids because he doesn’t have a father when he was little and the most he could do is ask Conrad â€Å"how are your day? † Conrad is Beth and Calvin’s son. They had another son but he got killed accidently on a boat. Conrad thinks Beth hates him because he committed suicide. In the book, Beth and Conrad rarely talks and their mother and son relationship doesn’t seem to exist. When Conrad once tried to tell Beth about his swimming meets, Beth just slammed the door and this made Conrad feels sad. Conrad and Calvin’s relationship wasn’t in terms of son and father wasn’t that bad. At least Calvin cares about Conrad more than Beth does. I have a problem similar to Conrad where whenever I want to tell something to my parents, they listen but they don’t understand the things that I’m talking about then when I ask for their opinions they always say do whatever things that you think its right. The reason that I tell my parents something is because I don’t understand what do to and they seem to not care and want me to figure out my self. Then I ask my parents individually, I talked to my father first, he seems interested enough to listen to what I was talking about then when I was done and ask him for his opinion he started to tell me about his childhood and that he always have to make decisions on his own without anyone’s help. After that I talked to my mother, she is a careful person and she seems to know what do to on everything. I told her my problem and she listened carefully then when I was done talking and ask her for opinions, she gave me her opinions and advices to my problem. It seems to me that not everyone in the family will know what to do but there always will be at least one person that tries to help you like Calvin helps Conrad and my mother helps me. Communication is the key in family. When family communicate, they don’t hide things, they let people know what they feel and how someone could help them. It also makes the family closer. If people don’t communicate, they can’t get things over like Beth does.